Illuminati Roundtable: Dear Chris Brown, We Need You To Do Better!
**Note: From teenagers to old folks, everybody loves celebrity drama and gossip. You can’t go anywhere in the world without somebody talking about the latest mess that their favorite celebs tend to find themselves in. So welcome to the Illuminati Roundtable. A new segment where we bring you all the latest and greatest antics of the rich & famous, complete with raw and honest commentary. No one is safe. You have been warned!
The very first I.R. post is dedicated to my favorite car-wreck (wait for it…), Chris Brown. Why? Not since Britney Spears turned into Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender, have we seen a human being crash so effortlessly. Between choosing between Rihanna and KapnCrunch (however you spell her name) , breaking windows, crashing Porsches, and wind-milling with Frank Ocean over a parking spot, Christopher found time to do community service without doing community service. Yes, the Yellow Power Ranger is in trouble yet again (Where is Bill Murray?).
A Los Angeles judge wants Chris to verify his community service hours. Easy, right? Not when you say you were waxing floors in Virginia, and there are thousands of pictures of you in Abu Dhabi performing on the very same day. What makes this story even better you ask? Chris and Rihanna showing up to the hearing arm in arm that’s what. I guess Rihanna forgot that they’re in court for Chris going Mortal Kombat on her face. But forgive and forget, girl I guess. All in all Christopher better bulk up or calm down. The D.A. will only allow him to be reckless for so long. However, I will be sitting here watching. Why? Simple. Chris Brown’s personal life is what VH1, Bravo, MTV, and TLC reality shows are made of. – Pooh Bailey