Illuminati Roundtable: Rihanna’s R8 Might Need A New Engine
The Audi R8 is a mid-engine, two seater sports car that uses Audi’s trademark Quattro permanent all-wheel drive system. R8 is also the name of the album by Rihanna that seems to have a non-existing release date. I mean four singles and no album in sight, is the Rihanna reign finally letting up? Beyoncé came through and stormed. Taylor Swift. Katy Perry. Hell even Hannah Montana aka Miley Cyrus came through in the clutch. Next up was supposed to be Rihanna and she just floated away like a plastic bag in the wind (*turns off Katy Perry*). What seems to be the problem? Many, actually.
Rihanna’s main issue is that she believes in her own hype. Lets be honest, yes she’s a huge star. A huge Pop star, who makes decent Pop music. But that’s it. She’s no one dynamic artist. I mean she compared picking songs for her album to buying shoes. She sings the songs exactly how they were recorded in the demo version. Writers and producers are actually not too fond of her. Simply because she doesn’t take her career seriously. Just like how Rick Ross is great at picking beats, Rihanna’s handlers were great at picking songs for her. Well, I’ll take that back. L.A. Reid was great at picking songs for her. But she left him, because she wants to be the boss, even though she has no real input on her own career. So with no L.A. Reid, Rihanna is giving her fans ‘4 5 Seconds’ of pure crap.
Is this the fall of Rihanna? I won’t say fall (too harsh), but it’s the beginning of a decline. A decline that every Pop star goes through. From Tiffany to Britney, from Paula to Christina, what was once up must come down. Or bow out gracefully. Releasing singles since January and it’s May, and you still don’t have an album. Either release it as is or go back to the drawing board. Honestly, I feel like Rihanna might have one cute record left, but it isn’t “B—h Better Have My Money.” Stay away from the Beetle and his pet Kardashian, and make that record that folks want, that will only be hot for a few months. Keep it real, nobody wants to hear about “American Oxygen” from someone from Barbados. Make another “Birthday Cake,” and then marry rich, because that’s it. So call up the Navy and let them know that your Titanic finally hit an iceberg. -Pooh Bailey
**Just For Kicks** “Pon De Replay” (The Song/Video That Started It All)