Home Features Illuminati Roundtable: Pull Your Panties Up, Fellas

Illuminati Roundtable: Pull Your Panties Up, Fellas

by Pooh Bailey

“B***h! Stop talkin’ that s*** and suck a n**** d*** for some Trukfit.” Now where were you members of Al Bundy’s No Ma’am women haters club, when Lil Wayne said this? Oh. You all were singing along with Tunechi. “Somebody say heyyyyy we want some p****!” I bet when this 2 Live Crew track came on, you found the nearest vagina and sang loud enough for Jesus to hear you. Male Hip-Hop fans love a nasty, freaky track about doing everything imaginable to a woman’s cervix. However, as soon as a woman declares she likes that freakiness and owns her sexuality, all of sudden men become saved. Men start to act like they know Jesus personally, and a woman rapping about her love for her vagina is destroying their family. First of all, playboy, you not even married. Chill. Second, where was all of this animosity for Future that you all have for Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion? I mean he got eight kids and nine baby-mamas (I said what I said). But I know, “Even if I hit you once, you part of my collection.” Men want women to “Slob on my knob like corn on the cob;” but as soon as a woman says “I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage;” men want to start screaming for the hills. What about the children? What about the daughters? You mean the same daughters that wonder if their names are mentioned in “Freak-A-Leek” or “What These B****es Want?”

Men love a good nasty song. As long as they are the ones rapping about it. They don’t want women to rap about it because they want to be the ones that objectify them. They want to be the ones with the power. Men want to be the ones to tell women what to do with their vaginas. Just look at what they are trying to do with Planned Parenthood. How dare these ladies tell men how to satisfy them? And this is a rampant problem with Hip-Hop. Male artists get away with telling us “B****es ain’t s*** but h**s and tricks.” But catch feelings when a woman says, “Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me.”

So do men really hate Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s new track? No, men really don’t hate “WAP,” just like Al Bundy really don’t hate his wife. They just want the ability to have the power and control over a woman’s body. They want to be the ones to tell women how to love themselves. And since they can’t physically take control over a woman’s body because it’s illegal, they will do mental gymnastics. Try to convince women that girls like Cardi are bad role models. Girls like her will not amount to nothing. And you should just be a good respectable girl because that is how you really will find a husband.

 But ladies also remember what Cardi said, “I don’t cook. I don’t clean. But let me tell you how I got this ring. –Pooh Bailey

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