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“I’m anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin with instincts to kill N’Sync, don’t get me started. These f—ng brats can’t sing and Britney’s garbage. What’s this b— retarded? Gimme back my sixteen dollars.” (“Marshall Mathers”)
Back in May of 2000, I was getting ready to graduate the 8th grade when Eminem dropped the soundtrack to my life (so I thought). The Marshall Mathers LP. The Marshall Mathers LP was for the middle class kids who hated their parents and never really fit in with the cool kids. I could recite this album from start to finish. But that was in 2000. Fourteen years later is a long time. Times change. People change. People mature. Or so we thought.
So recently, Slim Shady released the Shady Cxvpher. It featured SlaughterMomsBasement, Yelawolf, and himself. Dope, right? Well it seems for Slim Shady that gimmicks die hard. Here’s a quote from his freestyle, [quote style=”boxed”]“Play nice? B—h, I’ll punch Lana Del Rey right in the face twice like Ray Rice in broad daylight in plain sight of the elevator surveillance, ’til her head is banged on the railing. Then celebrate with the Ravens.”[/quote] Tsk Tsk. It seems to me that the only time Eminem has our attention is when he’s bashing Pop stars or trashing women. Don’t believe me? Here let me help:
*“And Moby, you can get stomped by Obie. You 36 year old bald headed fag blow me. You don’t know me, you’re too old let go it’s over, nobody listens to Techno.” (“Without Me”)
*“Yo s–t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs. So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear ’em argue over who she gave head to first. Little b—h, put me on blast on MTV.” (The Real Slim Shady)
*“Wow Mariah, didn’t expect you to go balls out. B—h shut the f–k up, ‘fore I put all them phone calls out.” (“The Warning”)
The thing is Eminem is very talented, top 10 (I see the essays and dissertations coming). However, it’s hard for anyone to take him seriously when the only time he grabs our attention is when it’s at the expense of a Pop star, his mom, or his ex-wife. Lets be honest here. For most of us, Eminem taking shots at The Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears, had us feeling like he was us and we were taking shots at the popular kids. But we’ve grown up. High School is over. Hailey graduated from high school. Eminem saying how he would slit Kim’s throat was once comical but now it’s disturbing. And miss me with the ‘it’s art’ talk because Kim is a real person. She’s not Mona Lisa. So back on this Lana Del Rey / Janay Rice line.
At 42, Marshall still finds violence against women comical. He thinks it’s clever, but in reality it’s like he didn’t even try. I guess in his mind, if it aint broke don’t fix it. And why does he want to punch Lana Del Rey? Is it because he thought he could still get away with it? No, No, No. This is not 2000 and this nonsense won’t be tolerated. Grow up. Using the same gimmick for over fifteen years is tiresome. If you can’t change it up, hang it up. However, I expected this would happen since he has an album coming out. And the only ones that care are internet nerds. So good luck with that. But I would like to say that I hope no Ray Rice type of guy decides to beat Hailey or Alaina in broad daylight in plain sight of elevator surveillance. Because I’m sure Eminem will not be celebrating with any Ravens then. -Pooh Bailey